just piss on it

If you get tangled with a jellyfish, the poison is a base. Remember chemistry class in highschool? Remember the experimental volcano of vinegar and baking soda? Well you should.

Now, recall that beloved croc enthusiast. Yeah, you know him. Crikey! He´s really pissed off now! The world mourned him when he tragically pissed off a sting ray. Startled, the large sting ray whipped the spike on its tail right into his sternum...and his heart.

It must have been painful...the poison, slowly seeping, spreading, making things numb and unbearingly fiery at the same time...similar to a jellyfish sting. I know. But the ray, missed my heart...that bastard.

At remanzo beach yesterday, i realized my surfboard didn´t have enough wax on it, so i walked back into shore. At first, it felt like a bite upon my ankle...like teeth, then for a split second...nothing. then Wham! Something sharp drove itself about a half inch into my ankle. It was worse than falling down wet tile stairs in your hostel. The water was a tad above knee deep.

I limped out and saw oxygen rich red blood spurting out. I probably should have gone to get help, or perhaps even asked more people what to do. Not me...i manned up, waxed the board, then headed back out.

If you get tangled with a jellyfish, the poison is a base. Urine is an acid. If you drink water, eat food, are alive, you likely have a supply of it.

Two hours later, i could barely walk, a swedish girl told me you should pee on it. Its much easier for a guy to pull off, than a girl. Or perhaps a girl can squat and piss on my ankle. I didn´t find any takers. Lotta, the swedish girl once got stung on her face...she made her friend squat and neutralize it. A lovely golden shower.

Perhaps beer would help. In the Canadian owned bar, Republika, i tell them my woes... Remember high school chemistry? Remember mixing vinegar and baking soda to create a volcano? well you should. They suggested vinegar...i reached for a lime.

Squeezing and rubbing half a lime over my ankle looked like a better alternative to pissing on myself. After 10 mins of intense throbbing pain...and 3 beers later...i suddenly realized it was gone.

(Dude, look at this thing, this drink is tropical. Look at the limes, look how they float. Next time i´m in a boat and it capsizes, i will reach for a lime. )

Next time i´m stung by a stingray, i will...